I am obsessed with Lynn’s skin. Many years ago, I worked as a home health nurse, and I saw some terrible bed sores that started out small and then progressed to craters. Some of the patients had their entire backsides destroyed. Most of the breakdown, I expect, was due to inattention but some was also […]
Struggles with Skin Care Read More »
The final stage of experiencing loss or grief is acceptance. Some people never get there; some get there quickly. Most of the time people step into and out of acceptance at various times based on what is happening around them or new challenges they face associated with the loss. For the caregiver, at least, my
Stages of Loss: Acceptance Read More »
Many of my blogs focus on the feelings of loss, anger, fatigue, and the negative side of caregiving because that is what we caregivers find to be the most difficult to manage. It’s much easier to cope with happiness and being well-rested. But today, I want to talk about “acceptance,” the final stage of grief
Joy Comes in the Morning Read More »
I’m starting my “staycation” today. You know, the kind where you vacation at home so you can get things done that you never have time to do when you’re working. We normally vacation at the beach each year with our children, but when the time came this year to pay off the rental, we realized
“Can you come here a minute?” I hear that every 30-60 minutes all day long, and you know what? It’s never a minute. When I enter his room to find out what he needs, I’m typically gone for 15-30 minutes. Being the chief cook, laundress, banker, shopper, mechanic, fixer-upper, and caregiver, as well as
Can You Come Here a Minute? Read More »
Let me start by saying that I’m not a psychiatrist nor a licensed counselor, so what I say is based on my own experiences in talking to others with disabilities, my own experience with family members, and my personal beliefs. Therefore, you may or may not agree with me, and that’s fine because this is
Finding the Will to Live Read More »
When you first suspect your loved one has MS, you tend to find ways to deny it. Lynn kept saying his doctor had ruled it out. I kept saying, “Are you sure you’re telling him everything?” When he said, “Yes,” I would accept that as true because I wanted it to be true…denial. Then, the
Stages of Grief: Anger Read More »
One of the greatest struggles I have found in being a caregiver is finding the happy compromise of my husband’s need for independence and control of his life versus my need to control his environment and keep him safe and healthy. Many times, these two needs seem to be in direct conflict with each other.
Independence Battles Protection Read More »
One of the most difficult aspects of caring for someone with limited movement is getting them comfortable in bed; at least, it is for me. When I lie down at night, I know it takes a few moves here and there just to find that right position of comfort that allows me to settle into
Helping Him Get Comfortable in Bed Read More »
During my nursing training, I was introduced to Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief and loss related to helping patients and their families as they experienced dying and the loss of a loved one. Since that time, I’ve come to realize that those five stages of grief are not exclusive to death and dying.
If I’m going to be away from home for any length of time, I try to arrange for someone to stay with Lynn for most of the time that I am away. I sometimes have to leave before the person staying with him can get there, or they have to leave before I can get
It’s funny how words or pictures can bring back such vivid memories. The Cultural Arts Department at work sponsored a poetry/prose writing contest recently with the theme “Rhythm.” I don’t usually enter such contests, but when I thought about the theme, it brought back memories of standing next to Lynn’s bed while he was in
Watching, Waiting, Being Strong Read More »
