With much excitement but a little trepidation, Lynn and I returned to church last Sunday. We had not been able to attend there since he started requiring the use of a wheelchair to get around. When he first came home from the hospital in 2010, he was too weak for almost a year; then as […]
Just Because It Can Be Done Doesn’t Mean It Should Be Read More »
Occasionally, I get an email from someone who is a new caregiver asking for advice on how to adjust to this new role they have acquired. Here are some of the life lessons I’ve learned from caregiving. I can’t be perfect. Not that I ever was, but I’ve always had the personal philosophy that if
Life Lessons from Caregiving Read More »
People have different ways of relieving stress and frustration, and as Lynn’s condition progressed from independence to total dependency, I think we have used them all. Most provide some relief, but some work better than others. For us, the method that works the best is laughter. Now, when I was a kid, I was told
Sometimes, Ya Just Have Ta Laugh…. Read More »
I recently published a blog (June 26, 2014) entitled “A Short Trip Back Home.” In that blog, I discussed the fact that going away for a weekend required just about the same amount of preparation and packing of equipment as going away for a week. Now, I want to discuss the “lessons learned” from that
Lessons Learned From a Short Trip Read More »
After years of caregiving, I believe I know Lynn’s body and his emotional and physical needs as well or better than my own. Actually, I probably know it better because I don’t pay attention to my own. By becoming familiar with him, I’ve been able to take quick action to prevent minor problems from becoming
Can You Scratch My Leg? Read More »
When Lynn and I were dating, I knew that his father had only lived to be in his forties and that he died from complications of MS. Having a medical background, I had a vague, general knowledge of the condition but primarily just enough knowledge to know that it affected mobility and the eyes and
One of Lynn’s regular responses when someone asks how he is doing is, “I’ve been worse.” This conveys to the person asking that he’s not feeling great but that he’s grateful he’s not feeling worse. It also allows him to avoid discussing how he really is and shows a positive attitude, which is something that
The light was flashing on my answering machine when I came home from going into work to meet my “one day a week onsite” obligation. Lynn has difficulty answering the phone before it automatically rolls to voicemail so we don’t even try to have him do it when I’m away. I checked the message, and
When Reality and Dreams Don’t Mix, No One Wins Read More »
Whether right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, most of us tend to “take in” the view others have of us. I think that’s especially true of caregivers. Once you become a full-time, all-consumed caregiver, you tend to lose part of yourself by absorbing the emotions and needs of the person for whom you are caring.
When you run into someone at the store or wherever what seems to be the first thing out of their mouth after saying your name? For me, it’s, “How’s Lynn?” and then it’s, “And how are you doing?” It’s never easy to know how to answer that question. I believe that most people don’t want
So, How Are You….Really? Read More »
My paid job, which supports Lynn and me, is as a Human Resources Director over Employee Relations. As part of that role, I’m responsible for keeping up with employment law. One of the laws often misunderstood by employees is the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). While from the employer’s perspective, this law is a thorn
How FMLA Supports Caregiving Read More »
The type of employment you have when you become an adult makes all the difference in how you live your life. It dictates when you’re asleep or awake, what you wear, what you’ll be exposed to, the type of people you will encounter, and your standard of living (unless you are independently wealthy or someone
Caregiving and Work Read More »
