Before every big event, there is always the fear that MS will get in the way of its enjoyment. I am pleased (and relieved) to say that did not happen during any of the festivities associated with Lynn’s son’s wedding. For days prior to the event, Lynn would comment on how he hoped his Rebif shot would not make him so miserable that he could not enjoy any of it. He was determined to be there and I expect he would have been there if it meant going by ambulance but fortunately, that was not an issue.
Friday was the rehearsal lunch at our home. Once again our church came to our rescue and a group came and set up for the meal, while others prepared the food and brought it to our home hot and ready to eat. It was prepared according to Lynn’s dietary restrictions so he could fully enjoy the meal. It was delicious. Following the meal, this group also completely cleaned up and cleared out so that I didn’t have to do anything but take care of Lynn’s needs. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for them doing that. I was so freaked out about having to prepare the meal and get everything ready for up to twenty people to arrive at our home. Knowing Lynn would need a lot of assistance I couldn’t imagine being able to do it all. In fact, I know it would have been impossible without me having a complete breakdown. I asked two of my friends for suggestions on who might be able to cater and before I knew it, all was arranged. What friends and what a church family! Our blessings from them overflow!
After lunch, we were a little late to rehearsal but got there in time to learn what was needed from him. Lynn was feeling pretty rough by that point so we were a little worried about the next day. With the help of some Valium to decrease his spasticity and a nice warm shower, I put him to bed for a rest and made sure the remainder of the night he relaxed.
Saturday morning, he woke feeling decent. He did a limited exercise routine, ate breakfast, and laid down to rest till it was time to get ready. All the groomsmen were western characters so I made sure I had extra time to get him assembled into his outfit.
As you can see, he looked quite dashing. We actually made it out the door in plenty of time to get there which was a good thing since Richmond was having a marathon and you literally couldn’t get to the building where the wedding was being held! Finally, by cutting through one of the barricades and taking an alley we got to our destination. Then into the freight elevator, through the obstacle course, to the ballroom. He could not join the rest of the groomsmen since the balcony area was not handicap accessible so we hung out in the coatroom till they were ready for the men to come into view. He was Eric’s best man and managed to fulfill his duty of giving Eric the rings without losing them.
Eric and Erin wrote their own wedding vows and they were priceless. The promises they made to each other were so “them.” The entire ceremony maybe took ten minutes and it was wonderful. It was fun, loving, and memorable. They included the families on both sides in all their planning and I couldn’t be prouder of how thoughtful they were of Lynn’s needs. He was included in everything. The hotel staff knew about what he would need and made sure he was well taken care of. Though I was right there to take care of what he needed when he needed it, all I had to do was catch one of the staff’s eyes and they immediately helped me get what I needed.
The care that Eric and Erin took in planning this wedding was very evident as they considered Lynn’s accessibility, his dietary needs, and his fatigue. Through their thoughtfulness, he was able to be fully involved and today, the day after, he is not in the midst of extreme fatigue. He is tired but then so am I. We are both very grateful that the wedding went so well and Lynn was able to fully be a part of such and every important event. Lynn adores his son and is so proud of him. We love our new daughter and we look forward to many years ahead with the two of them.
Now only one child left to marry off and I wouldn’t be surprised if that one isn’t hitched within the year as well. We look forward to that union as well and feel so fortunate that all three of our children have found partners who love them and are already part of our family. We are very blessed.
4 thoughts on “They're Married and Lynn was There for it All”
Hello Donna, I’m visiting your blog for the first time after reading your comment on the Caregiver Support blog. It must have been a relief getting through the wedding without too much difficulty on the part of your husband.
For the past six years, I cared for my husband who was partially paralyzed as a result of two strokes. At the end of September, I had to move him to a nursing home because he was losing strength, and it was getting harder for me to lift him. His health steadily declined after that, and he passed away a couple of weeks ago. you can learn more at my blog at http://abbiescorner.wordpress.com. I have published a collection of poems that might interest you entitled How to Build a Better Mousetrap: Recollections and Reflections of a Family Caregiver. You can read more about that at http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com/bettermousetrap.htm.
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s passing. I know you must feel as if a part of you is missing. Lynn and I are so connected at the hip now it’s hard for me to imagine life without providing for his daily care. God bless you for all the care and support you provided your husband and I wish you comfort in the weeks ahead as you adjust to his loss.
I’ll check out your blog and thanks for looking into mine.
Thank you so much for letting us all know about Lynn being the Best Man for
Eric’s wedding and that it turned out so well. Praising with you. Teressa & Donnie
We lost Juan torres on November 3rd. We miss him. Thank you for your support during the time I found your email.