As a caregiver, I understand that my role involves providing a lot of physical care. For any caregiver, how much care is provided depends a lot on how significant are the limitations of the one for whom you’re caring. For me, the physical demands are many because Lynn’s physical limitations are many. But, in addition to providing his physical care, I also need to provide mental, emotional, spiritual, and social care. The physical care is pretty consistent in that I know in advance what I’m going to need to do for him and how to do it; however, those other “care” needs are more unpredictable.
Mental and Emotional Care
We’re pretty lucky in that so far Lynn’s MS has not affected him mentally in any significant way. He has had periods of depression and is in fact, on an anti-depressant to address that problem. When he first became depressed, I didn’t catch on right away to what was happening. I expected him to be down; after all, he had gone from being a very physically active independent person to someone totally dependent on others to provide for his every need. He had a right to feel frustrated, angry, discouraged, afraid, sad, and any number of other emotions. Plus, he just felt bad. Since he had so many legitimate emotions that were healthy and normal for anyone going through what he had to endure, I didn’t catch on to the fact that his level of depression was growing deeper and deeper. When I did finally catch on was when he started making statements such as, “Why bother (to exercise); it’s pointless anyway.” “What am I any good for anyway? All I am is a burden.” He also stopped eating, stopped being interested in any decision making and seemed totally disengaged from his life. Suddenly, I had that “ah, ha” moment and got in touch with his healthcare provider to get medication to help.
Fortunately, it did. For the most part now, he manages depression pretty well and doesn’t go into long periods of being down, but it’s something I look for all the time.
In addition to depression, he has a little forgetfulness but he’s lucky; he doesn’t really experience the memory issues that many with MS battle every day. He occasionally needs a reminder but most of the time the memories come back with a little prompting.
I believe that we are spiritual beings. I know that, for Lynn and me, we count a lot on God to meetings our needs. We look to our Lord and Savior to carry us through a crisis and to look out for our needs. Our spiritual side is what keeps us going, what provides our comfort, and is often what restores our hope. Therefore, it is essential that I factor in that he needs spiritual care as well as physical care. When there are no viruses or other contagious bugs in the air, he goes to church; however, during the winter months, that’s too risky…too much flu and other nasty bugs to be shared. Therefore, it takes more effort to maintain the spiritual side of life. Lynn has CDs that he listens to which bring God’s word to his mind and help him stay connected to his faith. In addition, he listens online to the actual sermon presented at our church. We also have many discussions about our interpretations of God’s word and how Jesus’ teachings affect our lives. It’s a very important part of his care to help him meet his spiritual needs and that is why I feel he has been able to avoid greater bouts of depression.
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