After years of caregiving, I believe I know Lynn’s body and his emotional and physical needs as well or better than my own. Actually, I probably know it better because I don’t pay attention to my own. By becoming familiar with him, I’ve been able to take quick action to prevent minor problems from becoming […]
Can You Scratch My Leg? Read More »
When Lynn and I were dating, I knew that his father had only lived to be in his forties and that he died from complications of MS. Having a medical background, I had a vague, general knowledge of the condition but primarily just enough knowledge to know that it affected mobility and the eyes and
One of Lynn’s regular responses when someone asks how he is doing is, “I’ve been worse.” This conveys to the person asking that he’s not feeling great but that he’s grateful he’s not feeling worse. It also allows him to avoid discussing how he really is and shows a positive attitude, which is something that
The light was flashing on my answering machine when I came home from going into work to meet my “one day a week onsite” obligation. Lynn has difficulty answering the phone before it automatically rolls to voicemail so we don’t even try to have him do it when I’m away. I checked the message, and
When Reality and Dreams Don’t Mix, No One Wins Read More »
Whether right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, most of us tend to “take in” the view others have of us. I think that’s especially true of caregivers. Once you become a full-time, all-consumed caregiver, you tend to lose part of yourself by absorbing the emotions and needs of the person for whom you are caring.
When you run into someone at the store or wherever what seems to be the first thing out of their mouth after saying your name? For me, it’s, “How’s Lynn?” and then it’s, “And how are you doing?” It’s never easy to know how to answer that question. I believe that most people don’t want
So, How Are You….Really? Read More »
My paid job, which supports Lynn and me, is as a Human Resources Director over Employee Relations. As part of that role, I’m responsible for keeping up with employment law. One of the laws often misunderstood by employees is the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). While from the employer’s perspective, this law is a thorn
How FMLA Supports Caregiving Read More »
The type of employment you have when you become an adult makes all the difference in how you live your life. It dictates when you’re asleep or awake, what you wear, what you’ll be exposed to, the type of people you will encounter, and your standard of living (unless you are independently wealthy or someone
Caregiving and Work Read More »
For the most part, Lynn and I are homebodies. He just doesn’t handle traveling very well, so we rarely leave home. His already ever-present exhaustion is significantly greater when he travels, and it usually takes a full day to recover afterward; therefore, we rarely make any short trips since he spends the time at our
A Short Trip Back Home Read More »
When I became a full-time caregiver, I knew I was taking on full responsibility for skin care, elimination, nutrition, hygiene, assistance with activities of daily living, and even physical therapy. What I hadn’t counted on was taking on my husband’s role of maintenance mechanic for our home. Having a medical background, I’m comfortable with the caregiver
Sometimes, I am jealous of Lynn. Isn’t that sick? How could any able-bodied individual who is healthy, independent, productive, able to work and function normally be jealous of someone dependent on someone else for EVERYTHING in his life other than his own thoughts. I must be mentally ill – but there it is; sometimes I
Sometimes I Get Jealous Read More »
I was reading a blog about advice caregivers give to other caregivers, and as I read through the suggestions (all of which rang true,) one connected with me more than all the others—“live in the moment.” “Live in the moment” is a phrase I’ve heard much of my life in the context of learning to