So far, 2012 has not been significantly better than 2011. Yeah, I know it’s only January 3, but honestly, I’m not looking for much improvement over the days ahead.
Looking back over 2011, I must say it was not a great year. Lynn started the year barely functional after having gotten out of the hospital after a month’s stay. Then he returned to the hospital in March, nearly went on a respirator, which wasn’t good, but came home after only a little over a week. Then, he returned to the hospital in June for three weeks for plasmapheresis. The last admission had some good results as far as increased function was concerned, but ever since that time, he’s been struggling with anemia.
Christmas was much better this year. He could participate in all the family gatherings, which was a significant improvement over the past two years, which he doesn’t even remember. However, the low ferritin level has him so wiped out that he can barely do anything for himself.
Every year, we have a New Year’s Eve celebration. His family comes and a few of our friends. We (currently me) usually cook the traditional black-eyed peas, stewed tomatoes, cabbage, and neck bones, and we usually add lamb and some desserts. For the past several weeks, he’s been wiped out by nightfall. I tried to talk him out of the gathering this year, but he wanted to do it so we did (I have trouble saying “no”, can you tell?), but we did compromise and decide to do it in the afternoon rather than at night. I cooked most of the afternoon until midnight the day before New Year’s Eve, and we had the party from 2 until around 5. It was nice to have every come but also a lot of work preparing it. Several guests helped clean up, which was a tremendous help, but it was still very tiring.
Ever since then, Lynn has been exhausted as usual. He stays cold, so he drinks hot tea, then gets hot and drinks cold water. I’m cathing him 12-19 times a day, every day. I can hardly get anything started before he calls me back. Plus, since he’s miserable, he can’t get comfortable. I hear him calling me every half hour for something, and often, it is to repeat what I did in the previous 30 minutes.
When I had young children, I was constantly being interrupted, but I could get them involved in something or take them with me, and I still managed to get things done. Lynn can’t be settled. He’s so uncomfortable that he needs me constantly. I can’t even go to the grocery store to do all my shopping. I have to make several short trips because he needs to empty his bladder every little bit. I admit I’m getting tired of doing it so often. I now literally pack a bag if we are going even on a short trip because I’m sure to have to cath him at least once, if not twice.
The constant attention has also impacted my ability to take down my Christmas decorations. I managed to bring in the outside items on Sunday, and it took ALL day to put them away because I could do such a small amount at any one time. It may be July before I finish putting away the things inside. I love the decorations and had help putting them out, so I have them everywhere this year. Needless to say, it will be a while before my house returns to normal.
The other way I’m impacted is by trying to work from home. He constantly interrupts, so it takes forever for me to finish anything. I’m rather concerned too because my boss wants me to come on Friday to talk about my team. She is concerned about them, so I’m not sure what this will mean for me. Lynn has become very concerned that I might have to return to work. I told him we would face that if it happened because we both knew I must work now. Hopefully, I won’t have to make that transition, but if I do, it’s going to take a major adjustment around here, and quite frankly, I don’t know how I would be able to manage it. But I won’t dwell on that until there is no other choice.
I need to go bathe Lynn now. It’s the only thing that seems to bring him comfort, but it’s such a long process that wastes all my spare time. I hate to begrudge him a bath because I know how good it can make you feel, but it’s just one more chore for me. Oh well, better get to it.
So, maybe the ball dropped at midnight on January 1, and 2012 rolled in, but I didn’t see it drop (although I was up), and I haven’t seen anything different—just more of the same challenges. Wonder what will be ahead?
I hope that 2012 will be filled with many blessings for you and yours and that the Lord will provide you with whatever strength you need, whenever you need it, and a heaping measure of peace and comfort to help you make it through each day.
Happy New Year!
