Extended Families No Longer Live Close to One Another
Caregiving may also occur from a distance, or family members may share responsibilities. In today’s world, children often go away to college and may decide to remain in the area where they received their education. Another common scenario occurs in college centers as relationships form between individuals who grew up in states far from each other. The college takes children away from their parents, and military and work assignments often move people around the country and other nations. Extended families rarely stay within a few miles of one another anymore, and the use of Facetime, Zoom, and other face-to-face apps keeps long-distance families connected.
Unfortunately, when parents become elderly, long-distance care becomes difficult to manage. When Mom or Dad lives alone, the risk of a fall, severe unanticipated illness or injury, or death is significant. The children or next-of-kin should plan with their parents how to help them remain independent while ensuring their safety.
Competency Status
Parents have a right to their independence and own decision-making until they die. Absent mental or physical competency is the only exception to that right. Suppose the parent develops a medical or mental health condition that prevents them from being able to make a competent decision regarding their safe care. In that case, the doctor can have them declared incompetent by the courts and a caregiver appointed as their guardian. If that occurs, usually, the next-of-kin becomes responsible for their safety. If an incompetent parent is left alone and gets hurt, the responsible party can face charges of negligence or abuse for failure to protect them from harm.
If you have an elderly parent(s), consider several options when planning for the future.
OPTION | PRO | Con |
Let parent(s) remain in the home with around-the-clock caregivers in attendance. | · Parents are in a familiar environment and are less likely to become confused. · It may be less expensive than facilities, but you manage hiring. | · You must have a business license and employee staff legally deducting payroll taxes. · Must find own coverage if needed |
Turn all of Mom and Dad’s assets into a trust and have Someone manage the trust for them. | · You don’t have to worry about parents bankrupting their accounts or forgetting to pay their bills. | · The money no longer belongs to them; it belongs to the trust, and the trustees determine how to spend it. · There are fees associated with managing the trust. |
Move parents into assisted living | · Someone will be caring for them all the time · Facilities are licensed and run by healthcare professionals | · Assisted living facilities need more staff. Patients are often neglected and receive poor care. The family must visit regularly and at random times to ensure their safety |
Family members take turns having parents live with them | · Everyone shares the burden of caring for the parents – the physical, financial, and emotional strain is shared. | · Not all family members have enough room to bring in parents or the finances to provide care. · Some may be unable to assist due to their work type, other obligations, or medical restrictions. |
Parents live with one sibling, and others pay the cost | · This method helps to even out the burden among the group. The group may agree to add additional ways to split responsibilities among themselves. | · Who will be the enforcer if soSomeoneoesn’t follow through? · Are there consequences for non-follow through? |
