This story continues my Caregiver for Parent Blog, describing what I did for my Mom. After Mom died, Dad became the focus for me and my siblings.
Dad Starts Having Medical Problems
Move forward three years. Dad’s been living alone since mom died, at least thirty minutes from any of us. We each try to call regularly. I do my medical checks weekly. Doing mine one week, I heard all the signs that he was heading for congestive heart failure—legs swollen, coughing, trouble breathing, and high blood pressure (high). I called my brother, who lives nearby, and told him he needed to go to the ED.
First Trip to Emergency Department
Larry left work and took him to the ED, where they waited eight hours before seeing a doctor. Dad’s prostate was closing off from edema, and he needed to pee every five minutes. His blood pressure was 200/180, and they sent him home on medicine. I was not happy, but what could I do from Richmond? He continued to get up a lot to pee during the night. Early the following day, he passed out trying to go to the bathroom. He said he could not move at all for several minutes. Fortunately, I had gotten him an emergency alert button to wear. He called for assistance using the button. It alerted me, and I called a neighbor who was already on his way to help Dad because he heard the alert go over the fire department dispatch.
EMS Arrives
When EMS arrived, I told them to bypass the local hospital and go straight for the level 1 hospital in Roanoke because the local folks missed the diagnosis the day before. Upon arriving in Roanoke, Dad entered the emergency department with evaluation and treatment quickly following. Upon arriving at the Emergency Department, the ED doctors determined he had pulmonary edema, congestive heart failure, and an inability to empty his bladder. Ct of his heart showed a rare heart condition called atrophic myopathy with a clot sitting in the apex of an aneurysm in his left ventricle.
Dad Comes to Richmond
Dad had never seen a cardiologist or urologist. They were stabilizing him and planning to put him in a long-term care facility for rehabilitation. I told them he could not go into tertiary care and instead had to be moved to Richmond to stay with me. He needed to be seen by cardiologists and urologists for treatment, or these issues would resurface. Someone had to monitor them, and that would have to be me. He agreed only for six months. I set up his and mom’s old room, but this time, I did so with the idea that it would probably be permanent. Though Dad insisted he would go back home, I could not see him moving back alone. He was 90 years old and had several medical problems needing monitoring.
Establishing Baseline Care
I started with getting him appointments for baseline care and a proper treatment plan. We eventually were able to get his catheter removed, and, with physical therapy, he was able to walk with a cane. During one of his admissions, they found that he had a severe heart arrhythmia that caused his heart to go into V-tach for long runs, alternating with a very slow heart rate in the 40s. He needed both a pacemaker and a defibrillator. He now has an implant that manages both. Dad has 24-7 caregivers to help him with his care. He insisted he would not be a burden to me. He wanted to continue using them even after Lynn died so I could recover from all the physical problems acquired from caregiving.
Oversee His Care
I manage Dad’s care as his consulting healthcare provider, as I did Mom’s. He’s doing remarkably well for a 91-year-old. His mind is very sharp except around sundown when he gets confused, but overall, he’s very independent. He’s good company for me with Lynn gone. I sure hope he stays around a while longer.
