As the baby boomer generation is getting older, more nieces and nephews are finding themselves faced with caregiving expectations. They have a 90-year-old spinster aunt living alone who wanders in the neighborhood naked. Perhaps the issue begins with a call from social services at the request of the doctor to say the aunt has cancer and needs a family member to arrange care. According to the patient, her Niece is her only living relative. Is the Niece responsible for the aunt? If she is the legal next-of-kin, then “yes,” she is. “Surprise,” “You’re the proud parent of an aunt.”
What do you do first in this situation? Determine who is responsible for your aunt’s care and make it legal.
Since the doctor called you, he must have permission from your aunt to speak to you.
- Start by calling him to get as much information as possible about her medical condition, competency, and whether anyone else is listed on the record as a relative. Also, get her current address and phone number so you can check for documents at her home identifying you as her power-of-attorney (POA) or other authority.
- Ask the hospital if she provided them with a copy of her medical or general power of attorney at any time or her advanced directive. Can you have a copy? If they don’t have a copy and you can’t find one at her home, she needs to sign something making you her POA, or you will need to go to court to be declared. The doctor may help with that if she is incompetent.
- Find out if you are the next-of-kin or just the relative living closest to her. Call other relatives to see if there are others of equal status with you because if there are, then you all share in the level of responsibility.
- When determining who has the final say in matters, it is an excellent time to consult an attorney because you are about to take on a lot of responsibility for someone you know almost nothing about. You may also acquire her debt as her responsible party; therefore, be clear about what you are signing and accepting. If other family members are equal in the level of relationship, keep them in the loop.
Hopefully, you will find out there are other relatives. If so, call all those who have equal status with you to have a meeting (it could be by Zoom) to discuss the joint responsibilities and see if anyone wants to take her into their home.
Joint Decision-Making with other Relatives
If a group shares responsibility, it’s essential to ask for a meeting with all parties and the case manager responsible for your aunt’s welfare for the state. The case manager knows her insurance situation and whether she is eligible for public assistance. She would also see if she qualified for placement in a rehabilitation facility or senior living facility. Based on what her healthcare coverage might be, the case manager would be able to tell you if she could afford placement in a third-party facility or if the family would need to provide care for you.
Unlikely to meet Eligibility
Unless she already is a member of Medicaid, she is not likely to be eligible immediately for enrollment in a facility. Therefore, it may become necessary to hire someone to watch her at home until she could qualify for state assistance. Medicare does not pay for long-term care. If she has third party insurance, it likely would not pay either. Therefore, to be able to get a placement, she would have to have enough money to afford the monthly cost of care. Therefore, Auntie will likely move in with one of the relatives.
